I didn't do what I did.

In sports news, Texas A&M announced yesterday that they have notified their conference (Big 12) that they will withdraw if they can be accepted into another conference like the SEC. Ironically, the day before, word leaked out that A&M had sent just such a message to the Big 12. The Big 12 quickly said they had received no such word, and A&M officials quickly responded that they had sent no such message. They were merely exploring options with due diligence and no decision had been made.

Forget for the moment all questions of loyalty to you conference (there are a multitude of issues there). It amazes me that I didn't see any comment of significance that A&M officials had apparently lied the previous day. I understand that they probably wanted their to talk with the conference before making it public, rather than being forced into it by the press... and that's noble. But this seems like such a blatant falsehood and one so easily accepted is disturbing. It suggests that such deception has become so common in reporting that it doesn't matter, and that truth itself isn't important for its own sake. It also makes me think that at a time when college sports scandals are increasingly regular, readers and reporters alike need to wake up and see the link. IF truth doesn't matter at a simple press conference over a potential embarrassment, can we really trust these men to lead within the rules or to honestly address violations when their jobs are on the line? I don't believe so. It makes me sad to think of how this might all end.

Signs of the Times pt. 4- Alone In A Crowd (Not Exactly)

The coffee alarm goes off either every 7 minutes, every 2 hrs. for the milk carafes; same for the sanitizer. The oven timers go off to let you know food is done, and the headset beeps every time someone comes to the drive-through speaker. It's no wonder you hear beeping in your sleep- rather annoying since my alarm clock is a beeper too, so I sometimes wake up thinking I'm oversleeping. Anyway, this is kind of a starting point to a Starbucks morning rush.Now, then, let's get crazy. On a busy morning, we can average about 50-70 transactions each half hour (between both the cafe and drive-through). So you've got about 2 orders coming in every minute, which means there is a constant stream of chatter on the drive-through headsets, a constant call of orders back and forth across the store, calls for support, greeting and conversing with customers; etc. plus the background noise and the store's musical playlist providing the soundtrack. What's it like working at Starbucks? Noisy!

I bring all this up because of a simple issue it reveals... I'm an introvert. I'm borderline, so I'm still plenty social in nature, but people interaction is a draining exercise over time. The best kinds are with individuals or small groups where you can really connect with people. Big crowds aren't my thing in general. In addition, I'm at my best in single focus mode, but I do a multi-tasking job. Starbucks does an excellent job of breaking things down into repeatable routines so that it becomes habitual, but you're still managing customer orders and interaction, making coffee, cleaning, and prep work. It has really challenged my ability to stay focused, and whatever success there has been is a testimony to God's calming touch on my frantic mind. But it's also clarified a few things for me.

1. I really AM wired for pastoral work... specifically the relational side of things. Seeing all these people without being able to connect very deeply is exhausting in a way I can't quite express. But it confirms that God really did design me for my calling (Makes Jeremiah 1:5-7 pop out a little more)

2. Getting to know and sharing Christ with co-workers is a much more challenging process than I could have imagined. There simply isn't much time to talk to each other about anything but the thing that needs making or cleaning or stocking; etc. That means finding time to get to know them better outside the store... tough since a lot of them drink heavily for their fun time outlets.

3. Because I get relationally worn down, I tend to want to retreat to a corner of the house with a book, a movie, or just a plain old blanket and pillow. The more stressful work is, the more I want to hide out.

You can see the growing problem here... knowing how and when to walk the tightrope between 2 types of desires and 2 types of needs. I know I've been far to content to listen to the voice screaming "Rest!" (sometimes it's right), but as a manager pointed out July a my fulfilled promise of 1 year's labor is fast approaching. I don't want to look back and see that God opened a bunch of doors and I stared at them politely, then walked away. This is probably my biggest struggle right now... finding the balance.

Signs of the Times pt. 3- The Art Of Not Being Seen

Another thing I've learned from working at the 'Bucks is this: people say far more about their character and personalities in "customer service" situations than they ever realize. I used to hear the phrase that "character is who you are when no one is watching." Starbucks, McDonalds, the gas station: these places show me that character can just as easily be about who you are when you're oblivious to those watching. The nature of these interactions seems unremarkable. We have a few customers who visit with us and let us get to know them. We've tracked Elsie's cancer treatments- she's appears to in remission, and we get plenty of motherly love from Molly, as well as some beautiful pictures of premature triplets whose grandparents come in all the time. For most people, however, it's a speed game... get in, get their coffee; get out. Because it's kind of impersonal, people tend to be unguarded because they're focused on the next thing coming in their day. So, you see what's really going on in their minds for anywhere from 30 seconds to 3 minutes. That's not much, but over weeks and months of seeing the same person, patterns begin to show up. And casual observers get a front row seat because people aren't really paying attention. If you are petty, angry, kind, patient, caring or dismissive of others, it shows.

As a result, I'm much more aware of 2 important truths for myself: 1. very few people are wholly unmemorable... you leave impressions on almost everyone, and you're a fool not to do that with intentionality. 2. We can have a tendency to minimize the people who serve us, because they don't seriously factor into our lives. I think I'm generally friendly and personable to service personnel, but I'm learning a lot more that it's easy to be nice without actually seeing someone as a person.... embarrassing considering what I believe about God and how He treats us. With all His power and authority, we are not robots or toys to Him. We are loved, treasured, and lavished with grace. Time to start getting to know the guys at the gas station for starters....

Signs of the Times pt. 2- Witches Brew

So, I've started this entry 3 times already, even getting several paragraphs down before getting pulled away for dinner or friends or much needed sleep. Each time, everything was lost- twice because Microsoft decided that Windows should update and spontaneously reboot my laptop, and once because I hit the save button on my blog page and apparently Xanga said, "NO!"

So, here I am on attempt number 4. Maybe I should take a hint, but the last post was for fun. These next few are for reflection, because I realize how much God has used Starbucks to teach my about myself, others, and most importantly Himself. I want to keep them, massage and chew on them to get the most benefit. So, here are a few fun/slightly profound life lessons learned or reinforced from the last half year or so.

First off, we are a nation of addicts- it's just that simple. Our country has a serious love affair with coffee in general and Starbucks in specific. Many of them are delightful addicts, but still... many of our customers are in the store 6 days a week at least, and I've had several shifts where I opened the store at 5:30am and by 11am I'd seen the same person come in 2 and 3 times. People will even get annoyed that we are closed for silly things like sleep and ice storms.

I'm sure it's partly my jaundiced view of coffee overall (it's disgusting... liquid evil, except you'd expect evil to at least seem pleasing), but I sometimes wonder how people can be so consumed with something as trivial as coffee. But of course, I can be so consumed with plenty of other things that I care about and be completely justified (wow... I've gone italics-happy). The problem is my superiority complex has brought me to guilt and self examination and remembering again that God's standards are really the only ones that matter. By God's standard, idolatry is the big problem. That's what all addiction is, no matter how big or small. Sure, I may feel better about my love of Mt. Dew because it tastes better and it's way cheaper... but Paul's challenge was that he would not be mastered by anything. So, now I'm re-evaluating when habits become addictive or idolatrous in other ways... sure was easier when I could just despise coffee nerds.

Signs of the Times

Having finished my first six months at Starbucks (first review, first holiday season; etc.), I've been thinking about how many crazy or unique things suddenly are a "normal" part of life. So, A La Jeff Foxworthy, here are a few signs you might be a Starbucks Barista.

1. You hear alarms beeping wherever you go. You can't stop it, even in your sleep.

2. You get up in the dark, go to work in an office surrounded by windows, and never have time to see the sun rise.

3. you have "lunch" at 9:30am.

4. By 11am, it's time for your 2nd shower of the day (during the summer at least).

5. You fear the "ClOpe" (Close at 10:30 one night and Open at 5am the next morning).

6. The phone rings and you have to stop yourself from answering, "Thank you for choosing Starbucks...."

7. You know people more by their drinks than anything else.

8. Your most common phrase during a typical workday is "what size would you like?".

9. You dread serving other Baristas (they love the most complicated drink orders).

10. You smell like coffee all the time.

11. You spend more wash time on aprons than anything else.

and finally

You wear a LOT of black.